Sex, like most other functions of our body is a normal process. As other functions, like for example, the digestion, can be upset by factors like a bad mood, stress or similar such things, so can the sexual function be disturbed by a whole lot of factors. These may not necessarily involve the anatomy but instead it’s the mind, which makes the difference.
If sex is allowed to happen naturally, in a relaxed way, our bodies will respond normally without any conscious effort on our part.
There are a wide variety of problem or situations that can upset the normal sexual responsiveness, most of them, fortunately, can be helped in a positive manner by understanding on our part. Here are a few of the most common amongst them and ways to improve:
Misunderstanding and/or lack of information about sex :
Its indeed one of the most telling ironies that Sex, despite being one of the most commonly discussed topic in our lives and in the media, there is a surprising lack of correct information about ‘What to Expect and How to Act’.
Those images of the ‘Perfect Macho Man and The Perfect Sensual Woman’ on the TV and in the Magazines make us feel that Sex instead of being a perfectly normal natural and enjoyable thing, is an ‘Act to be Performed to Perfection’. All this does it to add to the confusion and leads to unrealistic fears, expectations and fantasies.
Bad feelings about Sex and its consequences –
1. Fear of pregnancy; Fear of pain; Fear of being caught / heard / or interrupted.
2. Performance Anxiety-Fear of failing to perform well.
3. Fear of losing control (during orgasm) and /or becoming vulnerable.
4. Looking unattractive during the climax.
5. Bad feelings about yourself or your body like, feeling that the body is unattractive. Feelings that I am not successful (low self-esteem).
Problems in a relationship – Anger/resentment against the partner should be resolved as it can decrease the performance and pleasure while having sex.
Unsuitable circumstances –
While a ‘Quickie’ sometimes can be fun! But normally Good Sex requires a relaxed mind and body. Too much of a hurry, tiredness or preoccupation can rob you of the pleasures of Sex.